The Fruit from a Desire for Petty Revenge: The Backstory of The Moon Goddess's Smile

During an author's pop-up event, a reader asked me where I got the idea for my debut novel. Since she found the backstory fascinating, I’d like to share it with everyone. The embarrassing truth is that the seed of this novel is a desire for petty revenge.

I’ve always dreamed of becoming a storyteller. Growing up in China, I heard a gold mine of Chinese myths, legends, and fantastical stories. However, my parents forbade me from studying Liberal Arts because of a family tragedy: In 1957, my grandfather disappeared shortly after he wrote an article mildly criticizing the Chinese Communist Party. Out of fear, my parents even discouraged me from keeping a diary. Long story short, I became a biochemical engineer in China. In the wake of the Tiananmen Square Massacre in 1989, I came to the United States as a graduate student in biomedical sciences. Then, after NIH cut our lab funding in the early 1990s, I eventually became a podiatrist. As a Chinese immigrant, I was wired to choose a “safe” career to make a living.

Fate intervened again when I visited my parents in China eight years ago. Over a family banquet, I learned that two local newspapers had published untrue stories about my late grandfather. The innuendos bordered on character assassination. The entire clan was upset, but there was nothing they could do about it. Thus, I decided to set the record straight.

After honing my writing skills at Grubstreet in Boston, I started writing about my beloved grandpa. Soon, I realized that my family’s survival stories in a tumultuous century can be a case study of recent Chinese history, and the underlying theme of enlightenment-seeking is universal.

When I told a friend about my novel, he asked me: “What makes your story different from Amy Tan’s Joy Luck Club?” For many Americans, that novel, published in 1989, is the gold standard of Chinese American literature.

I considered the question tricky, comparing apples and oranges. However, it’s a fair question for readers to ask. Well, first of all, the resilience of a Chinese family is only one of the motifs of my novel, and the mother-daughter relationship isn’t a central theme. Secondly, my story has a rich tapestry, with “complex interplay of culture and identity at many levels.” The cultural identity struggle is even more relevant in today’s America. I used a homecoming journey in 2012 as the story spine, weaving in my own experience as a conflicted first-generation Chinese American navigating cultural clashes. A chapter titled “A Scientist Without a Border” was written five years before our current escalation of Sino-American tension. Still, it remains excruciatingly poignant in 2025. Lastly, my book celebrates the human potential of reaching enlightenment during a crisis. Mei, the protagonist, struggles throughout her life to understand the deeper meaning of an unusual Chinese myth (of an ordinary housewife who became the Moon Goddess by accident). When she finally deciphers the mysterious smile of the tragic Moon Goddess, her self-discovery journey also comes full circle. Despite some dark moments, the novel ends on an uplifting note.

This is a long-winded way to explain how my petty revenge evaporated into the universe during my writing journey. Writing is not merely cathartic. I genuinely believe I’ve grown into a more expansive person because of the process. At least, I’m closer to reaching my own enlightenment someday.

Two bonus takeaways from the meandering journey of an ultra-late boomer:

1. When you are really mad at someone or something, take a writing class. It is cheaper and saner than hiring a lawyer or seeing a therapist. And, you might even get amazing results since you are passionate about an issue.

2. Not a single minute in one’s life should be considered a waste of time. There is a silver lining to my long years in STEM: Even though I remember nothing from my study of Calculus and Linear Algebra, the knowledge retained from “Mechanical Drawing” really came in handy when I tried to assemble IKEA furniture according to their diagrams.